One of the worst feelings I’ve ever had playing a video game was because of Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin. Not because the game is brutal, setting up enemies and traps randomly to punish you for just exploring. Not because there are so many little secrets and puzzles for you to figure out what to do in order to open a gate or fight a tough boss. It’s because I accidentally deleted all the footage from playing this game from being careless trying to save some space on my SSD.

I was bummed. Like how can I be so dumb doing that. I beat Dark Souls II for the first time and I deleted all the footage from it. It took me 45 hours to get to a point where I just wanted to beat the game and there’s still so much more stuff to do. I didn’t do either of the DLC dungeons just cause this game was so much already. I slowly walked my way through open fields of ghosts and lion beasts to porgress to the next bonfire and open up a new path. I slayed some bosses that were more powerfull and punishing than I would’ve thought. I even freaking went through dream sequences and downed some giants in order to beat Vendrick at like half strength.

I don’t have any footage of that to look back on. I don’t have footage of those cheeky moments to make some video content.

I guess that’s the life I want to pursue in a sense. Where I want to record my play sessions so I can pretend I’ll be a big time content creator and make some cool videos where strangers will watch. I feel the need to document my playthroughs now and it kinda sucks cause sometimes I just don’t play games if I’m not at my computer to record the best versions of it. I need to (re)learn to just play the game. Free from the shackles of documenting it. But I also want to document it tho.

I’m in a conundrum now. Oh wait I have this silly little blog. I’ll just start to write about how I’m feeling about this. Yeah, duh.

One thing I was thinking about was why did I feel this type of way about me deleting footage from my playthrough of Dark Souls II. I’ve erased videos on accident before, but I just didn’t feel devastated about it as much as I did for this game. Fallout: New Vegas, Dark Souls, Nine Sols, and plenty of other games I don’t have my footage anymore because of carelessness and yet I feel so strongly about Dark Souls II.

Must be cause this game is so ugly. The colors are pretty muted in an uninteresting way compared to other titles from FromSoftware. The palatte for each area is just all the shades of one particular color. Here’s all the shades of brown. Here’s all the shades of orange. Here’s all the shades of just gray blobs. I mean yeah sure this game did come out during the heyday of the orange/brown renaissance of video game art direction so cool.

It’s gotta be that the game is so raw in a bad way. There’s a hefty clunkiness to movements and the world. There’s more stats to put levels in, but they don’t seem to really have an effect besides being able to wield a specific weapon or cast a spell. Even some mechanics like the jump or opening a secret path is different from other entries. You have to press A on a secret door to reveal it rather than just attacking or dodge roll into it.

Hell even some of the secret secrets within this game is convoluted. Like you’re telling me Vendrick has full resistance to everything unless I somehow kill four giants to bring his resistance down to a somewhat respectable level and I still have a troubling time beating him at level 140! And continuing NPC questlines requires you to summon those NPCs during boss fights and they can’t die.

Y’know I really did enjoy Dark Souls II. I actually like it more than the original Dark Souls. I think this sequel just does enough of something different and weird to separate itself from the titan that is Dark Souls. In fact, it’s the ugliness and rawness that I find it so endearing.

There are a lot more NPCs here and they all brood in one way or another. There’s a certainty in Drangleic where everyone will lose their humanity and turn hollow and eveyone talks about it. And yet they all seem to have a role they want to play for whatever reason whether it’s to help you or just to get on by. The old witches laugh maniacally every time you talk to them. There’s a confused dude who loves maps but can’t explain why new fires keep popping up every time I beat a certain kind of boss. And everyone wants you to join their convenant so they can have whatever souls and medals for their respective god-being. Some summonable NPCs are scattered throughout the world and they want to help you on your quest. In classic fashion, most of them will end in tragedy but it ended more on a redemptive track.

The world is varied and at many times, ridiculous too. I love the pirate bay section (even though that area it literal hell) and the swamp are where statutes are shooting poison darts. There’s a dragon/drakes area that’s mesmerizing and scary and the knights don’t fight you as long as you can beat their champions for each section.

There is a great amount of care and wonder made into Dark Souls II that I’m just fascinated by all of it. I definitely understand why fans either hate or love this game but it’s so bold and fill of troll traps and gimmicks, I can’t help but be mesmerized by it. And I hate that I don’t have any footage to show for it. Because this game is really good.

I guess I’ll have to go back to Drangleic again soon.